The birth of the man

I was looking at one of my photos which has been taken a few nights ago. I saw a MAN in the photo, a big man! A physically big one ( That night I realized that I couldn't wear one of my grey trousers because I had grown too fat !) with a mature face that could no longer be considered as a "youngster" .

The "man", was obviously supposed to have a job , a financial career, a clear plan for the future, and even probably a wife or at least a partner from any viewer's point of view. It sounded like some warning sirens : The game has started! The game has started! Run or you'll be a loser!

I obviously saw that it could not be accepted anymore from the "man" to blame anything or anyone in his past, present or future. The time has definitely come for him to take responsibility, and have the courage to face life as it comes, and on his own.

I see that it is time to "build" a future, or to accept all the consequenses of wandering in aimlessness. Perhaps I hadn't received the support I needed from the outside world in the time I frantically needed it, but I must not deny the facts : Many good friends helped me to recover in the recent years, and helped me feel worthy and have enthusiasm for life. I have to thank all of them. They prefer to see me happy and constructive, and I am a coward if I betray them.
I have to stop being sad like a poor old lady. I am a young healthy person - good or bad- and I have the ability to "build" . I have to build. I have to build.